Blog: Let People Off the Hook
I try really hard to make people feel free instead of trapped! Treating situations with an open hand & allowing things to happen as they should instead of forcing things to be according to my desires, I’ve found yields the greatest fruit – genuine experiences with people that aren’t forced.
I believe in treating other people the way I would want to be treated. Manipulative relationships are awful. It’s like being led by the ponytail or mustache. Haha.
I was with someone recently who used that manipulative pressure. Instead of saying to me, “Hey, I want to spend more time with you — don’t leave!” He tried to shame me & said, “I hate how you just get up & leave! What?! You don’t like movies?!” that made me feel weird. I sat back down but didn’t want to be there. Surely, he wouldn’t want me to be there under that kind of pressure. We communicated about it, & I told him how I felt. I explained how I had just swung by on his invitation to quickly eat & leave & that I was planning to head home to get cleaned up & work on things. I thought I had explained that & was clear that I needed to go. He then understood. He remembered I had said that, but he was hoping I’d stay. I don’t like forced relationships.
I just don’t like being handled that way. We worked through it quickly & he understood where I was coming from. This situation just reminds me how much more fun it is to be with people when they want to be with you. When someone has something else hanging over their head, it’s better to let them do whatever it is that they are feeling pressured about then make them stay with you. Genuinely giving freedom to people creates an environment where they enjoy time with you!
You’ll hear me often say, You’re free! No pressure! Do whatever you want!